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Wednesday, June 11, 2014

From Mother's day...not really edited..not in the mood

On another Mother's Day where I'm missing my daughter again, I thought of other moms who suffer from empty nests.  As a daughter who lost Mother at a very young age, it's been a big deal. 

You were a formidable surrogate Mom, back in the day. 
I don't know how much they ganged up on you, but I doubt you could imagine what people do in fear of my work.  It's a wild swing of people in the know who are amazed, and people who fear everything I am! 
Wow. 
On the internet, you don't really know where help/misdirects are coming from....who's on your side and who's just trolling for ways to destroy a lifetime of hard work.  You know the type of boat anchors we prefer to do without.
I was rolling along working with a community when I hit a snag with people who let themselves be educated by the wrong morons!  Meanwhile, my number one is finally seeing my work and looking to come check it out in it's proper context.
Success and neener, neener!
We've been apart for eight years due to uber capitalists with no mind for Dad's work as a systems analyst.  They never understood the technology and it's vast possibilities on our level, only how to cash in at any cost to life, liberty and the pursuit of "happiness".  Society falsely turned the word into meaning gratifying one's own basic needs with no regard for anything out of the little box they've trapped themselves into... and following the first thing that splits rent into whatever rock they crawled out from under.   We were taught to build a man up, not just cause dramatic conflicts to resolve.

He understood in the end, but people kicked me HARD to the curb...and just when I thought I was free from all of that gossip and the mainstream, Stepford-wife nonsense, a new jerk kicked over my Jenga tower of recovery after a debate he started un-armed.  And a weak woman who follows his ignorance anywhere.  It was like a day long trial by fire....
"And I didn't bring nothing but the kick and the sway of it!"
If it weren't for Father Wells and people who understood my struggles with the hypocrisy destroying my dreams, I would have been a very different kind of statistic.  I was born under a microscope and I knew from watching the boomers screw up, over and over, and yes, over again, it was clear what our generation was facing,  and what little I had to work with to become the me I was called to be.