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Sunday, May 8, 2016

The Bagel is More Than A Jewish Donut

Gave Richard a call while he was busy writing a young adult book and working on a part about a ficticious merkabah ceremony.

It's very weird how we don't talk for a year .....  and click on stuff like that.
I mentioned Eryka Badu and some of the "fun" we were having.

But of course, he was busy mode and we spoke briefly about Prince, and a short rant on intellectual property...as some of his previous work hasn't been sold or used and it torques him to no end.

We pinged on Eric Clapton's comment about the best guitarist in the world.
and replied, "Ask Prince".

Richard helped me through Michael Jackson's departure....and y this kicked me in the gut while daggers were still sticking in my back.



I found an old conversation from 8/20/2013 about something he wrote in '02.
And again I can't read it without "The World is a Toll Free Toilet" earworming through the rest of it.
Dagnabbit Richard...   He gave me a new assingment and I haven't untangled the email discussion we were having before we were rudely interrupted .....af.

He expressed his GRATITUDE for Prince's life work.
(for Richard, this is an emotional outpouring)
10 scripts =  1 pizza and still no kickstarter software and a bajillion deadlines
missed due to no net, mail fraud, etc and I'm just sayin...

And I didn't have to "excuse my French" while I respected his timeline
about what I need to be expressing right now......
n stuff.
While it lamely doesn't disqualify myself for anything but building up a PLETHORA of
reasons ..... to
express some human emotions.

*ahem*


8/20/13


A Bagel Is More Than A Jewish Donut
                   

A bagel is more than a Jewish donut,
More than a roll with a hole.
More than a strange English muffin.
A bagel’s got bagely soul.

It is something a baby can teethe on.
The true home of cream cheese and lox.
Bagels are tied to the hulls of big boats,
To keep them from hitting the docks.

A bagel’s a friend.
A bagel’s a buddy.
A bagel never forgets.
Bagels as hard as bricks and concrete
Make wonderful weapons and pets.

A bagel is kind.
A bagel’s well rounded.
A bagel is wholesome and neat.
I’ve seen bagel Boy Scouts
On busses and subways
Graciously give up their seats.

A bagel is brilliant,
The Mozart of bread,
The Shakespeare of flour, inspired,
The Rolls Royce of noshing,
The Buick of Bulk,
And as chewy as one of the tires.

I once knew a man who was struck by a bagel,
It gave him such a “potch” that he schvitzed!
Yet, I heard him exclaim,
“I would rather be maimed
By a bagel, than be crippled by Ritz.”

First given to Israelites fleeing from Egypt,
Who cried, “A schmear on matzo destroys it!
Smoked salmon on manna?
That’s a pox on the lox!
Such a mess just to fress, who’d enjoy it?”

So hearing our cries, God looked around
Saw angels with heavenly lights ‘round their heads,
He thought: “What if I coil it, then boil it then bake
A halo
Out of some kind of bread?”

And that was the gift (along with those tablets)
That let the Jews know they were chosen,
But then some schmuck said “Can I make a buck
If I made them in flavors and froze ‘em?”

So bagels today? Feh!
They’ve gone to extremes,
Gluten free? Low carb? Makes me gag;
Vegan-schmaggegan? Tofu-banana?!
It’s like eating a bagel in drag.

But in hard times like these,
real bagel’s a comfort,
Like a warm teething ring we can eat.
They fill us with love, they fill us with joy,
Not to mention two pounds of wheat.

So when you’re worried or tired,
Outsourced or fired,
Caught in the grind and the crunch,
Stagger right into your neighborhood bagelry
And take a nice bagel to lunch.

                                                  - Richard Marcus
c
Copyright, 2002, All Rights, Richard Marcus