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Tuesday, April 22, 2014

What's our motivation? You ask.....AGAIN?

It's the same nature vs nurture / money vs vocation conversation that bored us to tears and had us talking like the kids on Peanuts at a very young age. And then there's some other stuff I'm looking into...regarding the genealogy research. I'm way behind on that snipe hunt that is actually giving me a lot of historical information I need to answer some questions for people who have been helping me out all these years.

 It's truly fascinating to have and share this legacy, while proving why the system is not working if we have to go to these extremes for quality education that builds a healthy society. The founders knew all of this would come around, and had ways of keeping things in balance and in it's proper perspective. It's interesting, but not exactly rocket science when you are brought up to view things from every possible angle. I certainly don't recommend repeating my mistakes, but what's better than learning from your own mistakes is learning from the mistakes of others....and fail FORWARD! And I'm still with the....and so what's the BFD about someone like me?
 (yes, people have on occasion, gone a bit overboard with keeping things I should know confused with speculation and suspicions...questioning my motives)

How about this.. I get why people were suspicious of our family. We were aware that people thought we had nothing better to do at our dinner table than to plot and gossip about who did what about this or that. But it was mostly how horrible the school must be if a genius like me couldn't remember times tables for crap. I argued that it was stupid to tell me it's impossible to subtract 5 from 3 when it was "two below zero" because I had a habit of "checking the weather chart to see if it were safe outside" every day before getting ready for school. The number was WE6-1212.... in the summer I called it to check the air quality because the pollen and I were not friends. Oddly, I've had no real problems with them since I left the DC area.

Because of how we're raised to believe in all of moronic extremes of "independence" where the very rich are allowed to pass down their money which works for itself, but we can't build on the intellectual wealth of our own families? Our folks compensated well for what public education lacked and thanks to the Smithsonian. I was floored when I saw the Chicago museum of Science and Tech. It was so sad....and so expensive! Poor Ferris.... I thought it was sad to learn that other museums were only funded by the states. And of course I compared it to the sad distribution of funds for education and the arts. Kids like me were taught to analyze every aspect of a situation and try to fix or circumnavigate the thing in the way of getting "There" from "Here". ....because of the tangible intangibles not showing up on a ledger with $$$ on them. So don't laugh at my perspective when I still know precisely zip about this "strawman" thing.... because I've had to take risks, but I'm not much of a "gambler". People are more than a marketable commodity. I'm one that hasn't finished setting up the multicultural education/social experiment demo I can't market without my legacy to back it as proof that we're stronger together than splitting us up and dropping us when we become inconvenient... it's a loser when it fails the same way every time...and down right evil when it only works for those with no ethics. And again with the perception is NOT reality when bigotry reigns and egos refuse to follow the rules. Yeah, I'll "get over it" when I can finally ...idk, find a place to work in peace without all of the muggle intervention. From Haley Joel, Little Man Tate, ..... to all of the horrors we learned of the Holocaust and back. And being right there in the thick of it, still clueless, but certainly paying attention... We were given so many different ways to look at a concept, but when it came down to testing us, They gave us standardized tests that contradicted how we were taught to learn!...and the horrors of tests with the appalling option, "none of the above" That's very cute for a 3rd grader, but when doing the math for Ohm's Law and Xtal Oscillators and Yoda knows what else I loaded and dumped for avionics...... them's fightin' words. The overblown rote memory garbage only frustrates the reason it was learned in the first place. I'd translated the electronics I'd learned from magnets to understand the energy flow in the body. to focus it and yada yada yawn. I still wanted to go to space in PERSON...not just "astrally"....though that's certainly a fun way to go. I'm not even convinced deep meditation simply let's the mind experience what we imagined when we learned about things we studied. The arts fill in where words, science and math fail. At PGCC, the COBOL or PASCAL instructor had the nerve and the utter gall to give the final exam thusly: On programmer's grid paper the exam was to code the 10-40 EZ form for 1982?!. I showed up a bit late after a job or something and had probably missed some classes, but when I got the final from him, I believe I gasped in horror, glared at him like a demon from hell and exclaimed, "DO WHAT!?! Are you serious?" and probably questioned his sanity. I grumbled through the whole thing because it was uncalled for, and I probably rocked it or passed it in spite of him....and when I was done with it, slammed it on his desk and probably mumbled "You're NOT superior" on the way out to practice with one of the bands. That was when I decided it was with a "purple passion" with which I hated programming and the rant probably ended with, "You can't make me! x3 When dad asked me to intern at the agency instead of going to Loyola, he sounded like his arm was being twisted, or he was that afraid of my answer..which was, "Dad, have we even MET?" And I did not move back to Bowie, I thought Milwaukee was a good transition until I figured out what Chicago was all about. Like a moron, I passed on the invitation to La Jolla with a friend from Summermath '82. So, yeah... I was every so done with DC and it's BS over Bobble-head-o-nomics. It wasn't like I started questioning the establishment in 1983, you know? I was nearsighted by 6th grade and that's when I knew I had to go west to be an artist. They had ridiculous height/weight requirements and the rest was math that kept women like us out of the sky....until far too late for me. I'm only 5'5". I think I was already 82 pounds of solid-ish rock by 4th grade or so. I know I was only a few pounds away from fluffier girls I knew. Big bones are a fact of my homesteader's heritage and new frontiers were always a welcomed challenge in most everything we did growing up. In my case and I'm nowhere near alone... we shot for the stars, got yanked back with a big bungy and landed splat on the corporate plantation after the military chewed us up for cheap labor and brought on this sharecropper's economy. if we didn't notice....